Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Gift of Truth

"'Beauty is truth, truth beauty', - that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."

Thank ye, John Keats. A beautiful sentiment and often repeated completely out of context. (Don't even get me started.) And, it's all well and good for a piece of ancient pottery, but really? Is that really all ye need to know? I don't know. Maybe it is. I'm mulling around this maligned poetic fragment today for a few different reasons. (Not the least of which is because I have to keep the gray matter sharp. Ouch. A sharp brain seems like it would be a painful thing, indeed. Maybe I just need to keep it firm, yet gelatinous enough to keep some of those mysterious folds and electric information highways open and firing in the correct directions. Radioactive jello, if you will. And speaking of electric information highways, who on earth embeds some sort of spammy iPad giveaway in a scholarly website of poetic deconstruction?! Digression complete.)

So, truth. It's been a hot topic the last couple of weeks (or millennia) owing to a writing prompt and a couple of friendly blogger awards. I'm not quite cool enough to know exactly what GBE2 even means, much less participate. But I have been cool enough to have received a few of these awards. Namely, The Versatile Blogger Award and the Tell Me More About Yourself Award. I want to say, as I have said before, that I am really and truly honored that each and every person who reads this blog even reads my nonsense. Your enjoyment is the ganache on the torte. And the Belgian chocolate curls are the little bits of love that get sent my way.

 The gist of the awards is to share 7 (not 6, not 12) things about yourself. That's where the truth comes in and it all gets slippery. Perhaps I'm over thinking the whole thing. (Moi? Never.) It's a little bit hard for me to disclose (I typed "disclothesed" by mistake and that's funny. Freudian finger slips.) these "truths" about myself because I think in the very act of it we edit it around to the things we think will be the funniest or the most interesting or make us seem award-winning enough. That's not to say we're all a bunch of dishonest liar-liars. It's just one of those human nature kind of things. We, all of us, have our pants on fire a little bit. It's the nature of personal perspective. I also think that the truths that we discover about people, we discover indirectly. Out of the corners of our eyes, if you will. They are the things that shine through the stories we tell, our reactions to situations, our interactions with our worlds. Sometimes the things we most fervently believe to be true about ourselves are more a product of defense mechanisms or our expectations of ourselves. Over thinking? Yes. But if you've hung around the Periphery any time at all, you know that's what we're all about here.

I believe there are absolute truths to be known. By definition, truth must be one thing and not another. I'm just not entirely sure that I can tell the truth about myself. I can, however, make up some fantastic lies. Being versatile, and all.

1. I have a goiter the size of a pomelo under my chin. Rather than have it fixed, I'd rather paint a face on it every day to reflect my mood.

2. The entities that I refer to as "the Hooligan" and "my jBird" are actually my extensive golf ball collection and a Grecian urn of my dead cat's ashes, respectively.

3. I make and wear pillbox hats out of old tuna cans. Sometimes I rinse them out first.

4. I only eat foods that begin with the letter M.

5. I am actually a retired rugby player (New Zealand All Blacks) who is writing this blog as a therapy exercise in "getting in touch with my feminine side".

6. When I was 6, I fell into an open manhole cover and was raised for 4 years by CHUDs until I was spotted on a reconnaissance mission to the grocery store for Mallomars. That's when the goats took over my upbringing.

7. I was once in a car full of underaged, drunk, naked people who got pulled over for failing to signal a turn. We were let go with only a warning. It helps to have those CHUD connections.

Now, anyone who has made it to the end of this nonsense intact gets an award.

Also, in all sincerity, go check out The M Half of the M-n-J Show. She's smart, she's got a rapier wit, she does weekly grammar lessons, she writes fiction, she obviously has eclectic taste in blogs because she gave me this award along with some other blogs that are good, and she lives in one of the coolest cities in the country. She's one of those people who is great to have around to keep you on your toes and keep you laughing. Who doesn't want someone like that around?  She also has a thing for parrots and pirates.


  1. I feel like I know you so much better. Thanks for the link to CHUDs. I didn't know what they were, but I'll be looking for some the next time one of my kids gets on my nerves.

  2. I liked this post. It runs along the same vein as one I'm working on regarding electronic publication. And if I may say so? Your 7 made-up "shares" are absolutely hilarious:)

  3. So you had me googling pomelos and CHUDs. And rapier. And now, I sit here, feeling a bit sheepish. And endlessly flattered.

    Bloggers are funny. I'm not sure any of us ever thinks anyone else ever reads our stuff and likes it, beyond those we've put on a monthly stipend to come by and comment.

    Yet, there are immensely intelligent, witty, entertaining people out there, writing. Posting in their own little corner of the "interwebz." We find each other and are stunned that someone as SMART and ELOQUENT as *you* reads anything *I* have to say. Is that a blogger thing or a woman thing?

    What? Topic? Oh, yes. These facts are intriguing. And I call BS. There's no way you'd get pulled over for failing to signal a turn when there's naked people involved. Just sayin.

  4. I was speaking of my own, "razor sharp, cottage cheese brain" the other day; now, however, I might have to amend that to, "My brain is as sharp as cottage cheese..." Certainly sounds less painful now. Thanks for that. :)

  5. How do you like that? just because you said you wanted to hear about interesting word verifications, and having just come from my sistah's blog, which featured eleven of her paintings, my word was "proart" or "pro-art" if you prefer. Well-played.

  6. You are hilarious!
    I actually starting thinking about foods that start with the letter M and I was wondering, ok HOPING, that Martini could be counted as a food... mhmmm... martinis!

  7. "Sometimes the things we most fervently believe to be true about ourselves are more a product of defense mechanisms or our expectations of ourselves."

    I think I recently commented somewhere about the gap between how we see ourselves and how other see us and how it seems likely to me that the truth of "who" we are actually lives in that gap. It's a gap that has fascinated me for a long time.

    The CHUDs clearly passed along great wisdom to you while you were in their care. Or maybe that tidbit is from the goats?

  8. I was so nervous about posting this because I didn't want to seem cheeky or ungrateful. Glad you all "got" it.
    @Masked Mom - The CHUDs are a misunderstood people. Goats just eat your stuff. I love that gap, too. I sometimes wish it was tangible so I could examine it more closely.
    @Nadia - That probably counts.
    @Mark - Well played, indeed.
    @cdnkaro - I'd love to read that when you're done with it!
    @Jewels - Beware open manhole covers.
    @M-Half - To quote one of my favorite bloggers, "no sheep needed." Note the period.


Thanks for reading and taking the time to say hello!