The Gift of Slumber

There are two rules in this house; lo, there are three:
Thou shalt not hurt thyself.
Thou shalt not hurt anyone else.
And these three sacred things shall be conducted in peace:
eating, pooping, and slumber.

There shall not be any future disorders of eating, odd anal fixations,
 or unrested souls under this roof.

Therefore:
If the Chiefest of Lous should have the grinding of teeth, the sawing of logs
or the heinous bed farts, he shall sleep on the couch.

If the Mama should have a really good book that must needs be read
until the early hours of morn,
she shall sleep on the couch.

If the jBird or the Hooligan shall have the terrors of night,
they shall be divided and conquered
 in whatever sleeping spot may give them peace.

If there be phlegm, the afflicted must all share a room
so better to cough on each other.

If there be an affliction of the bowels,
thou shalt sleep on the floor near the bathroom.
Thou shalt not puke in my bed.
Nay, not in any bed, nor on any surface that is impossible to clean.

We shall all begin in our appointed places, at the appointed times.
We shall see upon the morrow where everyone wakes up.

There may be of some times a necessity for cuddles for any member of the household.
Cuddling is not restricted unless you kick me in the crotch too many times whilst thou sleep.

There shall be no judgement nor guilt attached to any of these things.
It shall be not the business of anyone where the night is passed,
save those who passed it themselves.

So when the Mother of Mama asks "How wilt thou find time to be man and wife with children in thy bed?"
The Mama shall answer: "That is what the living room floor is for."
And there shall be no more discussion forthwith.

Here endeth the lesson.

Breaking the Rules

Halloween is my 2nd favorite holiday after my birthday. It's the best day of the year for breaking all the rules. Now that the kids are bigger, they have begun to issue the Halloween Challenge every year. It goes like this: They come up with a costume, I make it. This year's challenge accepted and completed:

Chewbacca

My wee hooligan has developed an obssession with Star Wars over the last year. His character of choice: Chewbacca. I will add here that he has NEVER seen any of the Star Wars movies. Everything he knows about it, he knows from books and his Daddy's Lego Star Wars Wii game. So, in the interests of this darling little face, I broke my rule about licensed characters and made him a Wookiee suit. The one rule I won't break, Halloween or no, is the weapon rule. He is a disarmed Chewbacca, carrying a carrot instead of a blaster.

Peacock girl

We did a little gender-bending for my wee girl's costume. She wanted to be a peacock, and a fabulous peacock she was. She designed the layout of the costume and I executed it. She wanted to be able to display her plumage at will, so we attached her tail to her cape and she could spread it out into a beautiful peacock tail. Not a peahen tail. They're not as fabulous.

Heading out to take candy from strangers.

And of course, one of the biggest rules broken every Halloween: taking candy from strangers. Lots and lots of candy. And eating candy. Lots and lots of candy. One year we went to a local event (it shall remain nameless because it's pretty popular and just because I wasn't thrilled with it doesn't mean that other people don't love it). Anyway, this local event was a chance for the kiddos to do some trick-or-treating around in a community setting. The "treats" were all things like product samples, magnets advertising local businesses and toothbrushes. I agree in theory that gorging oneself on candy is unhealthy for any number of reasons, but once a year, can't we lighten up a little bit?!

Buffy and Angel : Breaking all the rules.

And, lastly, my favorite bit of rule-breaking: the primping rules. The make up comes out. Hair spray, wigs, leather pants from another lifetime. There is nothing like running into your neighbors while you're dressed like Buffy the Vampire Slayer to boost the confidence. This is one day a year when, young and old, we get to be something else and only our imagination limits what that "something else" is. Break some rules, eat some candy, love a vampire, have some fun.