A huge thanks to Jewels from Frazzled and Frumpy for today's guest post. She's way cooler than she lets on and a mighty fine writer. She's been an agent of encouragement and inspiration to me since almost the very beginning of this blog.
I wonder if my kids wish I were cooler. You know, more like the moms they see on TV. The ones who are doctors saving lives, or CIA agents living a double life. Yeah, that would be cool. If their friends asked what I do , they’d probably avoid the question. ("I don't know. She blogs or something.")
But, if I were an agent, my kids would be proud. Agent Mom.
I could pick them up from school in my black Camaro, hiding behind awesome sunglasses so no one would recognize me. I’d wear all the ‘hip’ clothes, and I’m sure I’d never say ‘hip’. There would probably be a gun tucked in my jeans and my cell phone would double as an emergency transponder of some sort. Sometimes, I would have to disappear in the middle of the night to jet off to a top-secret location. But, I would always bring them souvenirs, like a t-shirt that said, “My mom went to Yemen and all she brought me was this lousy t-shirt.”
Instead, they’re stuck with me. Boring mom. I drive my old car that’s littered with Wal-Mart receipts and diet Coke bottles. My cell phone is just a phone and I don’t even know how to use all the features on it. The only thing tucked into my jeans is my shirt--and that’s on the days I’m not wearing sweats. I use words like ‘hip’ and don’t understand their text language. So uncool.
Maybe I should make them watch the shows I did. I could definitely measure up to Carol Brady or Mrs. Partridge. Carol had a station wagon and the Partridge mom drove that psychedelic bus. Plus, my clothes are much more stylish than theirs- polyester pantsuits? Seriously. I can feel my kids shudder. And, I’m pretty sure neither of them even had a cell phone.
Yes, I’ve got it all over the moms of the 70’s. Who’s hip now?
(A big thanks to Tangledlou for letting me guest post on her blog. I'm honored, because, in the words of Annie Wilkes, "I'm your biggest fan.")