Sunday, January 29, 2012

She's Listing Again: Annotated Version

So it seems that my lists from yesterday left some questions. It's funny, that. Things that, in my mind, are obvious are not so much to other people. Who'da thunk? Heh heh. So, because it's the weekend and all, I present you with the annotated version, free of charge. These things are very silly, but still oddly fascinating to me. Feel free to discuss.

5 For Dinner: These people are chosen for the interest they hold for me and my perception of their ability to make a polite social occasion to be both stimulating and interesting.
Bill Clinton: Besides the whole former leader of the free world thing, he's a brilliant man. He was a Rhodes Scholar, folks. They don't give that scholarship to idiots. I am fascinated by the genteel, elder statesman persona  he has adopted since leaving office and I would like to pick his brain about the work he continues to do around the world. I am intrigued by his ambition as well. I don't have anywhere near that level and I'd like to see how that works in person.
- Mary Louise Parker: Well, she's hot, for one thing. But more than that, she's a good writer, has great taste in music and is a mom but doesn't seem to make a big hairy deal about it. 
Michael Stipe: He's probably not up to much now that R.E.M. broke up and I'd like the chance to discuss with him the effect his music has had on my life spanning back about 24 years. There are also a few lyrics that I've been puzzling over that I'd like to sort out.
Alan Rickman: What can I say? I find him terribly interesting. I love his body of work. I think he's incredibly talented and it's that intelligent sort of talent. He might also, if I ask very nicely, do Snape impressions for me.
Samantha Power: She's got one of the biggest brains I've ever even heard of. She uses this great big brain of hers to think about great big problems - genocide, hunger, etc. and then she works to help implement new solutions to old problems. She also seems approachable and nice in spite of all of this. 

5 For Breakfast: These people are chosen for their general attractiveness to me. You know, I'd also like them to stay for breakfast. Not all at once. Unless Ewan McGregor and Samuel L. Jackson wanted to come in their Obi Wan and Mace Windu costumes respectively, then we could maybe work something out.
- Ewan McGregor: Well, because he's hot. He's also Scottish (the accent!) and he can sing. From interviews I've read and seen, he also appears to be a very devoted husband and daddy. What's sexier than that?
John C. McGinley: I like the characters he plays. He's an attractive man with a great smile and a gift for ludicrous sarcasm. Also reported to be a devoted husband and daddy. Hot.
John Malkovich: He's creepy and strange and has that soft voice and odd elocution. Plus, I've been obsessed with him since about 1987.
Samuel L. Jackson: He's hot. And he usually plays a baaaaad mutha. I'm intrigued by that, and the fact that he's often photographed in fabulous hats and sometimes a jaunty scarf. 
James Marsters: Not only did he play my favorite vampire (Spike in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer") but he can sing and he went to Julliard. He's just so cute.

5 For Coffee Talk: These were chosen for coffee talk rather than dinner because I think conversations with them would need to be deeper, longer and not as polite as a dinner party would allow. I'm not entirely I could take them all on at once, either.
Tom Robbins: His writing amazes me. He plays with words in a way that leaves you a little bit sweaty and reeling when he's done. He can describe clouds in such a way that three pages later you feel like perhaps you have never actually looked at clouds before. I want to see what such a strong and vibrant voice on paper is like in real life. I also, if I'm honest, want to show him my stuff and see what he thinks. Because I am just that insecure.
Johnathan Lethem: His writing is less gymnastic than Robbins', but sometimes he will turn a phrase almost incidentally that just stops me dead. Read Chronic City and then tell me that you wouldn't like to sit down and chat with him about the nature of reality.
David Shields: We've discussed this before. His Reality Hunger was a pivotal book for me, writing-wise. I'd like to talk to him more about it and many other things. I got a chance to meet him a few months back, but I didn't get to talk to him much because some other woman was hogging all his time talking about the "women's novel that spans 3000 years" that she had just finished and was looking to have published and that was just ludicrous because we had just sat through his whole hour-long lecture about how, for him, the vehicle of the novel for storytelling was clunky and outdated. So yeah, coffee. Without the aspiring novelist shoulder checking me.
- James Carville: I had a hard time deciding which list to put the Ragin' Cajun on. He's so many things to me. I'm a sucker for a Southern boy, he's a brilliant strategist, I bet he's got some amazing stories to tell, he's loud and insane, he's married to an extremely conservative woman and I'm curious about what that's like. 

- Dwight Yoakam: I saw him in an interview with Jon Stewart several years ago and it was the most delightful stream of consciousness, absurdly wonderful thing I've ever seen on television. He spent a lot of the time decidedly not promoting his new album but instead discussing some various things he'd read about. Ever since then, I've just wanted to chat with him.
For When I'm the Lead Singer in My Own Band: This is just a frivolous mental exercise for me. If ever I should find myself in a band, I promise I'll let you know. But probably we'd never get around to actually writing or performing any music because we'd be too busy trying to determine the perfect name for our band and the perfect title for our debut album. These things are vitally important.
Death Metal - M├╝skrat
Indie Punk - Jellyfist
Rap Posse - 2 Live Lou
Motown - Roger Bob and the Horshack Five
Super Earnest 80s Throwback Garage Band With Thick Glasses - Last Night's Dishes


Just another window into the edge of the universe over here. I always wonder if I'm on anyone's "list" for something. Who's on your list?

16 comments:

  1. Thank you for the clarification! Curiosity thoroughly satisfied:) I am totally with you on Bill Clinton, Samantha Power, and Ewan MacGregor. Didn't you say someone once thought you looked like Mary Louise Parker? I was recently at a talk given by the Commissioner for Bilingualism, of the Government of Canada, and had a similar experience to yours with David Shields. So obnoxious. Thanks for taking the time to explain:)

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    1. Yes, someone did say that once. I would probably secretly compare and see how true it was (not very) if she came to my dinner party.

      I can't believe that woman with her dreadful novel was pestering the Commissioner for Bilingualism, too! So obnoxious. ;)

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  2. I couldn't have a band, as I'm the worst singer ever. I think I would find celebrity types a bit intimidating, so I'm not sure who'd I'd want to invite over. Except JK Rowling. I'd love to sit and listen to her talk about her writing process and, well, just everything.

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    1. I couldn't have a band, either. That's why it's funny to me. I don't sing very well, play no instruments well enough to be in a band, nor can I make up a tune that I've never heard before.
      I'd like to chat with JK Rowling, too.

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  3. Dinner/breakfast/coffee/I don't care, but ooh!:
    Johnny Depp - oh hot damn
    Will Smith
    Rob Thomas
    Shemar Moore (did you *see* this clip from Ellen? HOT damn!)

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    1. You know, I think Johnny Depp is really quite attractive, but he kinda looks like he might smell bad.

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    1. Hee hee. Don't worry about it, Larissa. It's complete nonsense.

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  5. I never thought I'd list Ewan, but then I watched him and his friend Charlie on their motorcycle trips, and oh yes. He's fascinating to listen to!

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    1. I have seen just about everything that Ewan has ever done (including some of his dreadful, pre-famous TV work in the UK) and hands down, "The Long Way Round" is my favorite! They were just so much fun and such good friends and so serious all at once.

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  6. Your description of Tom Robbins is so spot on.

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    1. I will now write something that I don't think he could write: Simply, thank you.

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  7. Love this (annotated) glimpse into your "secret" desires. ;) I am a HUGE Robbins fan and I've read everything of his I've been able to get my hands on. Several of his books are within arm's reach of me at this very moment, in fact. Skinny Legs and All is a personal (and family) favorite. I've read some of Shields & Lethem and have more of both on my to-read list now, thanks to this post. And I also have a tremendous fascination with James Carville for just the reasons you mentioned.

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    1. I fell head over heels for Robbins when I read "Jitterbug Perfume" at age 18. He needs to get on the stick and write some more or I shall have to break into his home and read his journals and the hard drive on his laptop. He lives somewhere near me, you know. "Fierce Invalids" is probably my favorite.
      You must read "Chronic City" - although you must prepare in advance for wandering around in a fog for a few weeks afterward questioning (more than usual) what, exactly, is "real". And I just love it that someone gets my Carville fascination.

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  8. Also a longtime Tom Robbins fan, although he kinda lost me at Half Asleep In Frog Pajamas!

    I can't do these lists! I always feel like I would never be able to have a great conversation with any of them, as I am often times uninformed on so many things. Maybe if I thought really, really hard about it. But I don't have time to! :) Judging from your writing, you would have no problem keeping all these folks engaged and intrigued! :)

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    1. "Frog Pajamas" is a wild book, he definitely riffs on some completely bizarre stuff.
      I have a hard time with these lists, too. It's hard for me to narrow down "favorites" and also, I know for a fact from only brief interactions with famous people I have met that I am rendered a slobbering, grinning idiot. I guess part of making the list is also imagining myself to be articulate and poised in the face of those I admire. A stretch of the imagination, indeed.

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