The Eve of Something Big

Silly hats and semi-nudity
for New Year's Eve are a must.

This is my favorite of all the winter holidays.
This eve of the new year.
My celebration is quiet now.
It didn't used to be. There used to be horns and dancing and wild expectations and empty arms at midnight. It wasn't my favorite then.
Now it involves silly hats and self-portraits and discounted Christmas food. Quiet reverie and perhaps some knitting, some snuggling and some every-day-ness that all culminates in the simple knowledge that I will wake up in a new calendar tomorrow.

I don't make new year's resolutions. That's a lie. I make them all the time. I resolutely don't make them in the new year, though. I make them when I think of them, regardless of the date because every day that you wake up is the first day of a new year. It's one of the nice things about the cyclical nature of time.

I devise a theme for my new year, though. It's one of the joys that sustains me through the holiday season, this theme devising. It's like a gift to myself that I can open up and use all year. My favorite kind. More on that tomorrow.

Tonight is for reflection. Last year, my theme was "Tree". That makes no sense when I say it like that, so I'll just post a link here for you to see what all that's about. I re-read that post just today and think I've done all right. I think there were some surprises and some setbacks, but that is how things go.

I'm ending this year in a different place than I started it and I think that's the key, right? I would be so depressed by looking back over blankets of sameness. I am contemplating my year ahead and thinking about the summer sausage we'll be having for dinner. I am listening to my monkeys wrestle and make deals with each other about things that are vital only to them. I am warm, I am content. I have lots of room to grow.

It's been a pretty good year. I wish you all so much good in your new years. I am grateful for your presence in this strange netherworld of pixels and light.

This is the eve of something big. I can feel it. I can always feel it. A whole year unfolding fresh and clean ahead and all the possibilities. Savor the anticipation. I received this note from a dear friend of mine a few years ago on new year's eve and it's kind of a tradition for me to review it every year:

I've got a feeling that this is going to be your kind of year. That you'll be happier than you've ever been, laughing harder, smiling wider, standing taller, walking lighter, dancing crazier, hugging longer, living grander, loving louder, and if you want, selling the pictures to a tabloid to raise money for your new charity.

These are the wishes I have for everyone, really. If we all did even a few of these things, how much better this place would be.

For now, my discount summer sausage and smoked cheddar cheese is calling.
Hugs and kisses to you all.
Make this the eve of something big.

To All A Good Night...

Wishing you all warm  - all you people.
The new ones and the ones who have been around a while.
For a lot of us, it's a big holiday tomorrow.
That's fun.
Holidays are fun. Celebrations are exciting. I love them quite a bit myself.
If it's not fun, don't fret. The thing of it is never as fun as the anticipation.
If it's not perfect, well, welcome to humanity.
If it's lonely or depressing or worse, know that I pray for you. I do.
Each day I pray for all the hurting. All of them. If that includes you, know you aren't forgotten.

Savor it all. It all makes up our lives. It's all necessary. Even the nonsense, even the pain, even the crazy, even the boring, even the empty. There's space for all of it.

These are my thoughts as the days slowly lengthen again, as the year comes winding down, as activity slows and we settle in to enjoy this space we've made in our calendar for giving, for sharing, for eating good food. Take from them what you will. Chuck them out with the wrapping paper and tinsel if you'd like.

I celebrate Christmas after a fashion, so I will say Merry Christmas to you.
Enjoy the days you are given.

xo