Friday, October 12, 2012

Fashionably Late

Here's a not-so-secret: I don't get invited to many parties.

I don't know why not. It probably has something to do with halitosis and appalling small talk. When  I was younger, I used to dream of fancy cocktail parties and freeze-frame moments of glamorous frivolity. I'd show up in black and heels and turn heads and say amazing things and laugh with my head thrown back, just so. Dah-ling! You are too much! Oddly, this is not exactly how my life has turned out.

I got invited to a party, though. Larissa is throwing a link-up shindig over at Papa Is A Preacher and I don't even have to wear pantyhose and make up. It started yesterday, so I am as per usual, late. Patience please, with the chronologically challenged among us. I thought yesterday was both Wednesday and Tuesday for the better part of the day. Don't ask. It's amazing I get anything done, actually.

So, here I am. A little late, a little out of breath, and my cupcakes got crushed in the car on the way here. Fortunately, Larissa is a gracious hostess and you can't see any of this anyway. I brushed my teeth and now for the appalling small talk: What have I been up to?

First and foremost, I have been contemplating my light switches. You know how when you have two switches that turn on the same light and then the up/down/off/on thing gets all out of sync? I have a switch that's up when the light is off and it makes me a little bit edgy. So sometimes I engage all of my mental faculties trying to figure out the exact sequence of switch flips to get this sorted out. Up = on. Down = off.

I have also been melting crayons with a hair dryer. This is so fun. It's all over Pinterest, so the law of averages says that at least some of the people who pinned it will actually do it. It's like the strip mall  of DIY - you can walk into any number of homes in any region in America (and sometimes Canada) and find the same cheap art. In a few years, you'll be able to find waxy canvas messes in Goodwills across the country, too. But for now... for now... watching those multicolored drips fall down the canvas are worth the price of admission. I will be hanging these in the monkeys' rooms to use as message boards. Everyone needs a message board.

So, the writing. This is the portion of the cocktail party where the dreaded "What do you do?" gets asked. The only worse question for me is "Where are you from?" I answer that one with "Nowhere" and then if people are interested I can elaborate. What do I do? I write. What do I write? Nonsense. Um, OK, then. Seriously, though, I'm working on several essays at once right now. They may become blog fodder, or they may actually turn into something I'd like to send out somewhere. It remains to be seen, really. I don't want to talk about them much because I'm coy like that. Not really. I find that discussing a project rather than just working on a project tends to suck the life out of it. For now, though, let me tell you this: for the writing, I have been spending a couple hours a day dwelling in a lonely, confused and angry place to get these things written, so I am not always a whole lot of fun to be around. It's worth it to me, though, in the service of authenticity. Some of the fumes from these particular gas leaks may show up on the blog from time to time. Just hold your nose and try not to inhale too deeply. It's all good.

Here is my most useful tidbit, though: pick up a copy of The Writer's Idea Book by Jack Heffron and keep it handy. There are so many useful kinds of prompts in there and just the right kind of encouragement when you need it. Keep creating, folks. 

20 comments:

  1. Oh Oh Oh I'm so glad you made it! This party has been so much fun so far and it just gets better with everyone that comes!

    I probably didn't help much by posting the TidBit Thursday invitation on Tuesday instead of Wednesday like it was in my head. Sometimes the world just can't keep up with my head, you know?

    Victor and I have begun gathering material for that crayon melting project. We're quite excited about it. Mostly because we get to use our glue gun to glue the crayons on..

    Again. I'm so super glad you made it. Thank you for coming. :)

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    1. Oh, Larissa Darling! (kiss,kiss) so nice of you to have me! This is fun. We should do it again sometime!

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  2. Well, I bought the book. It was too cheap not to buy. This makes Book #1 about the craft of writing that I have purchased because I secretly hate reading non-fiction away from my computer and refuse to buy it. So, you've made a positive and surprising impression on me. Now, to go and get Mikalh's crayons...

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    1. You should read all the nonfiction. I shall compile you a list. This book is not a reading sort of book, though. Not in any linear sense, although he has some good practical advice.

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  3. You think *you're* late to the party? I'm not even dressed for it yet. I like to swoop in at the end.

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    1. Ahem. You have toilet paper stuck to your shoe.

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  4. Ha! I was thinking about tackling that crayon thingy one day. I just keep thinking, and never the tackling.

    I agree with you about talking about a writing project. Once I talk about it, I think my brain tells me I've finished it. So, I'm zipping it.

    Which is rare.

    Love the way your write-think.

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    1. Hello maggiesfarm! How have you been?! It's been ages, it seems.
      You should definitely try out the crayon thingy, but I would suggest starting small because it makes rather a bold statement when it's all done.

      I can manage to zip it for my better ideas... what are you working on? huh? Huh? Tell me! Tell me!

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  5. I would so invite you to any party I have...how do you feel about masks? I always wanted to host a masquerade ball, heels and black cocktail dress would still work ;-)

    Late or not, at least you brought cupcakes! I was in so much of a rush I forgot my hostess gift, how bad a guest am I?!?!?

    What crayon thing? I feel like I am missing out on something really cool and I have just given away loads of crayons, doh!!

    Ok, so I am off to mingle with the other guests and maybe sneak off early to check out this book!! Hoping to see some of these projects sometime soon.

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    1. Oh yes, masquerade balls are dandy!
      Click the link and it should take you to a plethora of crayon melting activities.
      Do check out the book. Well worth it.

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  6. Interesting idea, melting crayons ... I would love to try it. And I am glad you showed up for the party.

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    1. You should check it out. It's fabulous fun. Thanks for journeying through here.

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  7. I know melting crayons is a crafty thing, but I still remember the childhood horror of finding the crayons I accidentally left outside on a hot summer day....they were soft and gooey in their plastic box, and it was a very sad thing!

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    1. Oh, I know! That's what I thought of while I was holding the hair dryer on them. They get all greasy. But seriously, watching the wax drip and controlling the melting is mesmerizing.

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  8. I don't pinterest to do. I just pinterest to look. But someone has to do, of course.

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    1. I decided to do a few things. I mostly use Pinterest as a file cabinet so I can remember where I saw stuff. And then I get distracted with all of the pictures of the hair. But anyway, I decided to try some stuff with varying success. You know how that goes.

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  9. I had the same sort of dreams as a child. I don't go to parties, either, especially not the fancy dress kind.
    We need pictures of your pintrest projects.

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    1. Well, I'm not at all sure about the pictures. I'll see what I can rustle up. I have a whole philosophical thing about this. I'll probably write about it. Ha!

      I have been to two fancy dress parties in the last 10 years. One of them I wedged my heel into the floorboard by mistake and did a spectacular tumble through the main reception area. The other one, the heel fell off of my boot as I was getting out of the car to go in and I had to clomp around with uneven feet all night. So there's that. And I don't drink, so there's that too. :)

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  10. Have you read "The God of Small Things"? This has nothing to do with parties, and everything to do with your writing. But before I go on, I'm going to need an answer... :)

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    1. No, I don't believe I have read this. Do go on...

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Thanks for reading and taking the time to say hello!