I started this whole funny post about femininity based in part on the really smart responses I received to my invitation to Stick Your Arm in My Washing Machine. I had an idea for a how-to manual entitled "How To Be Feminine Without Being A Douche" - the title was inspired by Tara's comment: "I can't think the word 'femininity' without ending up in a Summer's Eve commercial." It wasn't very funny and the discussion quickly devolved into odd specifics and personal preferences. The only thing very interesting about it was the title.
I have my own long-winded definitions of femininity. I could write a dissertation with all of the research I've done over the years. But really, what it all boils down to is this:
Yup. Take a long look. Not convinced? Perhaps you need another view.
Let us discuss my boots, shall we? They speak for themselves, really. They say I am tough and I am beautiful. I am sexy and a little bit threatening. I am practical and I go with everything - dresses and jeans and everything in between. They say I am bold and I am interesting. They say I got a wicked deal on the most awesome boots ever and I am going to wear them everywhere. They also say Be careful with me because I can just as easily kick you in the shins and step on your nuts as I can strut around being awesome and beautiful. And then there are the awesome socks, because everyone knows it's what's inside that counts. My socks are a mismatched, zig-zaggedy mess of imperfections and dirty spots and fun. My socks are crazy and I keep them close to me and they make me smile. Your socks look different, but that's all right too. That about sums it up, no?
I have my own long-winded definitions of femininity. I could write a dissertation with all of the research I've done over the years. But really, what it all boils down to is this:
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| My new cowboy boots. A birthday present to myself. Embrace the hotness. |
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| Hey Mom! What did you do today? I stood on a chair and took a picture of my new boots, of course. |
Let us discuss my boots, shall we? They speak for themselves, really. They say I am tough and I am beautiful. I am sexy and a little bit threatening. I am practical and I go with everything - dresses and jeans and everything in between. They say I am bold and I am interesting. They say I got a wicked deal on the most awesome boots ever and I am going to wear them everywhere. They also say Be careful with me because I can just as easily kick you in the shins and step on your nuts as I can strut around being awesome and beautiful. And then there are the awesome socks, because everyone knows it's what's inside that counts. My socks are a mismatched, zig-zaggedy mess of imperfections and dirty spots and fun. My socks are crazy and I keep them close to me and they make me smile. Your socks look different, but that's all right too. That about sums it up, no?
Here's the deal: it's about embracing the hotness. We are all male and female, yin and yang, anima and animus, dark and light, good and evil, practical and stone cold crazy, ketchup and mustard. It's all in there inside those socks. We slide up and down the keys on this scale as circumstance dictates. Embracing the hotness is about owning it all. It's about honesty and authenticity. It's about rejecting the definitions that don't apply to you. It's about taking responsibility for who you are. It's about not being all drippy and vinegary.
Mostly, it's about my new boots.
Embrace the hotness. The most confident girl in the room is the sexiest girl in the room.
Mucho hotness. The boots say it all . . . and I totally agree about the socks :)
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why I require a pair of ninja-emblazoned knee socks, in case anyone wants to know. Those boots do say it all, don't they? No man could wear them as well as you. (Well, maybe Eddie Izzard, but I digress.) I treasure those aspects of gendered packaging that play up who I am and eschew the trappings that feel like runny, vinegary cleaned-up bull. Which is which is entirely personal and up to me.
ReplyDeleteSuccinct and beautiful, TL.
I did want to know. Perfect.
DeleteI wanted to know, too. I will let the Eddie Izzard thing slide. I totally agree with you about the treasuring and the eschewing and sometimes the specifics change, but I'm allowed to do that.
Delete'The most confident girl in the room is the sexiest girl in the room.' Well said.
ReplyDeleteI love my socks, I have a pair that are just like the wicked witch of the west green strippy ones. I don't know what is is about the right socks that set you off on the right foot ;-)
Loving the books, they are sexy boots!!
Socks are crucial.
DeleteI love you, and your boots, and your socks. I wear very expensive, plain white, ankle socks. I think this makes me immeasurably dangerous.
ReplyDeleteBlood-chillingly dangerous.
DeleteI love you, too!
Socks? Not so much.... Boots? Amen! I love my boots - I don't' actually have any cowboy boots -- but I have , oh I don't know what you call them.... hooker boots? JK JK JK -- I just like a heel and some power and those boots give me that (even if it is all in my imagination).
ReplyDeleteDo you wear your boots without socks? Do they start to smell?
Delete"I just like a heel and some power..." exactly.
To go along with the socks and the boots, and the yin and the yang, and mmm how much do I love vinegar? But to go along with all this deliciousness is the fact that, hello, you stood on a chair to take a picture of your boots. Because you're right, we did need another view. I'm so glad you got a wicked deal on the most awesome boots ever, and that you shared them with us.
ReplyDeleteHa! Sometimes I catch myself in the middle of some of my projects and think "I wonder how strange I look right now?" and then I don't really care that much. I love that you enjoyed that. I feel I really must do at least one completely absurd and useless thing a day.
DeleteThe inside counts for sure. My socks never match but when I wear them they are soft and comfy.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post. I so love your expression of balancing opposites, kind of the root of gender appreciation for my heart.
xoxoxo
Thank you, Marie! xo
DeleteYup, those boots make you the hottest one in that room. A lot better than bruises on the face.
ReplyDeleteWell, since I was the only person in the room at the time, it wasn't a fair fight.
Delete"It's about not being all drippy and vinegary." Amen, sister, amen.
ReplyDelete