Monday, February 27, 2012

Things That Made Me Smile Today

My back yard smelled like Santa Fe this morning, thanks to pine smoke from the chimney and the fresh coffee in my cup. It took me on a cold, bright vacation to the fall of what seems like a hundred years ago. The smells whisper to me of promise, of joy in the midst of uncertainty. Of presence in the midst of hoping. Of a story I will some day tell. I wanted to sop it up like honey with a bit of warm tortilla, crunchy with cinnamon and sugar and yielding soft in its interior.

My true love sent me notes today. Sent me such silliness in the midst of business, strictly business. He popped up there on my screen and said hello, I love you in a thousand different ways that made me laugh. He reminded me what's good, what's right, what's true. He told me things that only I would understand. He was a tangible presence there, like a hug from far away. He made me wonder why I thought anyone else ever mattered.

My muse visited me today. In spite of his being a wee bit battered of late, he came to say hello. Yes, my muse is male. No he isn't real. He's just visits me from time to time and brings me treats of words. Phrases and ideas that tumble around and fall out through a pen that moves so smoothly, uninterrupted. I thanked him for his time and explained I'd love to stay and chat forever, but there was this laundry to be done, food to be made, people to tend. He said it was all right, he'd just hang out in the back of my mind a while. He kept me company while I worked.

These little people in my life with their speeches and their declarations, their moods and their mischief. I looked at them through new eyes today. The eyes that say that's good, that's right, that's how it should be. They whirled themselves green on the playground; fell tumbling, laughing to a heap of suddenly longer, leaner arms and legs. Arm in arm they skipped away to find the next adventure. They have their secret language, the language of being born of the same womb in different times. The language of eyes that match each other's and barely distinguishable laughs. Their world is two halves of a whole, a yin and a yang and a hop, skip, pounce, giggle. My eyes said that's good, that's right, that's how it should be.

Photo courtesy of morguefile.com
There are things you'll never know. The things that make me cry. The things that light up the inside of my head like too many fluorescent bulbs and make me cringe and cower. The things that hurt and annoy and break. The things that seek to destroy. The things that bring me to my knees. There are things you'll never know because they aren't worth knowing.

These things that make me smile, though; I collect them like stones and carry them in my pockets. Their weight is ballast. Their clam insistence holds me to center when balance is precarious. These stones shelter me when the outside is scratching to get in - whining, niggling, insisting upon itself. These warm stones that fill up the pockets of my thoughts: the scents, the sun, the soul mate, the source, the smallness of hands and feet with great big souls. These are the things that made me smile today.

22 comments:

  1. I had rain today, a rarity, and soft rain for most of it, rarer still. And I got to be away, and eat unusual things. Mmmmrnrnrnrnrnrn ...


    &^)

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    1. Those are things to smile about, indeed.

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  2. I just love the way you write - thank you

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    1. Why, thank you Judy. I appreciate that.

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  3. Beautiful. As always. I'm trying hard to not covet your writing.

    Smile TangledLou, it looks good on you. (:

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    1. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's writing. Especially when thou art so talented, thy own bad self. ;)

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  4. This is such a tender piece! I love it. My favorite part is the paragraph that details the things you'll never know . As you may have figured out from some of my past posts, those things live in my head and I like the way you painted them. I, however, disagree - I think they are worth knowing because they refuse to be denied. So why not make friends with them?
    The stone image is awesome too - both the word image and the photo. You make me want to go to the beach and take photos of rocks. Hmmmmmmmm - Can I play hooky today?

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    1. Thanks, JT! You see? This is part of the reason I write online - to get these lovely editorial comments. I think that section was unclear - I know those things, deal with those things, etc., but you, the reader, won't know about those things because I don't find a litany of woes really worth writing about. I shall have to rework this passage. Thanks!
      Also, hooky? Almost always a good idea, but honestly one I don't often take myself up on. I hope you get your photos of rocks!

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  5. I agree with JT, that tender is the perfect word to describe this post. I love the way you defined what it means to be a sibling. Lovely! Keep smiling:)

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    1. Thank you and thank you. I wondered if the sibling part made sense, and now I know at least it did to you! Hooray!

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  6. This made me smile today. Thank you.

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  7. This post felt like sitting down with a good friend over a cup of tea. And it definitely made me smile. Thank you! :)

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    1. Wow, that's so nice. Happy to share the smiles.

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  8. Bless you for sharing the good stuff, and my goodness ...what good stuff it is!
    I was luxuriating in every detail, every sensual word. And I felt time expand and contract when you spoke about your beautiful children. Their limbs really are suddenly longer and leaner. And one day their faces will be suddenly be more adult and distant, but not yet. And even then they will still be your babies, from the same loving womb.

    I believe so strongly in celebrating the good, not denying the painful or the challenging things, but REALLY celebrating the good. And you've done it, so thank you a million times over for sharing today!! XOXOXO

    Take care, m

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    1. Amen, amen, amen! Bless you, Marie for being such an encourager and just a general ray of light.

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  9. I love your small stones. I also love the smell of Santa Fe. For Christmas I received a candle that smells like the sage of Santa Fe. How wonderful.

    How happy that your muse arrived! I was, I admit, surprised to learn your muse is a male. But he is a muse, and that's all that matters.Love is love. Muse is muse. Amen.

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    1. I want that candle. My muse has lots of tattoos.

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  10. Here is one of my small stones: I am grateful to be in the presence--even only through a flickering, dusty, fingerprint-covered 17" flat screen monitor--of a person who truly notices life.

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    1. That is so nice, Masked Mom. I'm humbled.

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  11. This post made me smile. You paint pictures with your words.

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    1. Thank you! Thanks for stopping by and reading. I love, love, love your blog by the way!

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Thanks for reading and taking the time to say hello!