Showing posts with label don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

When Life Hands You a Car Door, Make Small Stones

This is a multimedia presentation. Please play this song in the background while you read.

I am not exactly clumsy, sometimes I just do random bits of inadvertent violence to my body.

Yesterday when I picked the monkeys up from school, I was looking at a tree and opened the car door - full force - directly into my face.


Just imagine a car door and the tree and a loud, squishy
"ka-thonk" noise.

 This is not the first time I have done this. I did not cry or swear or scream. I just checked for blood and then told the monkeys to fasten their seat belts.

Note the points of impact.

I was not dripping blood and I did not break my glasses, which protected my eye from being unceremoniously removed with the corner of the door.

(That is not my mustache)
It would have taken forever to replace my glasses
 and then I would have had to wear my sunglasses
around all the time. 

Which, now that I think about it, would have its advantages.

Behold the awesomeness of prescription sunglasses.
That is not my mustache. It is a trick of the light.
IT IS A SHADOW, I TELL YOU!
So, my face hurts to smile today and I may end up with a few more distinguishing characteristics on my mug when all is said and done. I had to practice laughing with a limp face last night (try it, try it now) and that made me laugh even harder.  I woke up this morning with a renewed sense of purpose and euphoric relief to be alive after my eye-wear's brush with untimely death. I have recommitted to appreciating the small, yet important things in life.

I still have my rugged good looks:

Do not be jealous.
Shaun Cassidy hair just comes naturally to some folks.

I've got my sanity. A positive attitude can go a long way. It is important to get all of your chins and a thumb involved, if possible.

This is what winning looks like:
grinning maniacally at your YouCam because you can,
even though it hurts your broken face like nobody's business.

And this guy. He just keeps turning up as I'm trying to write this post, so I'll let him stay.

"I smile coyly at you, Earthlings. Love me. Accept me.
Make me your leader."

Thursday, November 1st is Mindful Writing Day. Mark your calendars. It is to celebrate the launch of A Blackbird Sings, an anthology of small stones that are all about magnifying and celebrating the little things in life... even when they are completely absurd.