Friday, June 1, 2012

Oh, You Are So It!

I play tag nearly every day. It usually involves a lot of shrieking and tackling of small children. Sleepy Joe from The Life and Writings of Sleepy Joe invited me to play tag with her. This is the kind of tag where I can sit comfortably in my pajamas and drink coffee. Nice.

Go check out Sleepy Joe. She's an aspiring writer like so many of us. She's so warm and witty. Plus she's got the best screen name, ever. And she's British, so you know, sexy.

Because there are not enough random facts about yours truly cluttering up the consciousness of far too many people, I am to list eleven facts about myself. Then I am to answer Joe's eleven questions. Then I am to tag some more people to answer eleven questions of my own devising.

You can listen to this song while you read.

Eleven titillating facts about Tangled Lou:

1. I fall in love about 100 times a day.
2. I am not much of a fidgeter.
3. I collect pens and coffee mugs. The cheaper and tackier, the better.
4. I also collect those smooshed pennies from tourist destinations. One day I want to cover a wall in my office with them, a glittering tribute to blatant merchandising and tourism.
5. I try not to say "I can't" when what I really mean is "I won't" or "I don't want to".
6. I fart a lot.
7. I almost stroked my neighbor's glorious lambchop sideburns yesterday.
8. Whenever people have those huge gauge grommets in their ears, I am tempted to stick my finger through them.
9. A cruise does not sound like a vacation to me. It sounds like torture.
10. Sometimes I eat random things I find.
11. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by the beauty of things I just cry and my monkeys say "Oh. Mom's crying again."

Eleven Answers to Sleepy Joe's Questions:

1. Who is your favorite literary hero? I don't do favorites, really. Here are some I like: Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes, Anne from Anne of Green Gables, Tom Joad from The Grapes of Wrath, Perkus Tooth from Chronic City, Ron Weasley from the Harry Potter series. These are just a few I can think of right now.

2. Why? I like characters that aren't necessarily the hero. I like flawed characters, I like the ones who aren't front and center, but are next to the front and center. I like characters who are rich and dynamic, with strong character. I like characters who mess up and change over time, who work hard and keep living.

3. What is your favorite children's story? The Three Questions, based on a story by Leo Tolstoy.

4. Are you a closet reader? Are there some books that you won't admit to reading? It's kind of too dark and crowded in my closet. I prefer my bed or the couch. I find the best way to keep from having embarrassing secrets discovered is by telling them myself. I read every last word of the Twilight Series. Same with the Sookie Stackhouse books. I read all of the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo books. I used to sneak pulp romances in junior high for the sexy bits. I've read every Agatha Christie book ever written. I also read The Devil Wears Prada. I've read the entirety of the graphic novel Buffy ouevre. I am oddly resistant to best-sellers and then I break down and read them eventually to find out what all the hype was about. I'm more embarrassed about admitting that there are some books that I should have read, but haven't.

5. Do you have any regrets in life? I regret having spent so much time reading the Twilight series. I regret that I didn't get that "Winner Winner Chicken Dinner" T-shirt I saw at a restaurant.

6. Name one ambition, not including getting your writing published. My Miss America answer to this question is that I want to make a difference with my life. I really do. I don't know exactly how, but I want my life to have meant something, mattered to people, and to have helped make at least a small part of the world a better place. This has always been my ambition for as long as I can remember. The "how" of it changes, but I like the idea of being open to the possibilities with this in mind so I can do what's needed where ever I am. I also would like to leave my kids with boatloads of money so that they don't have to worry about things, but that's more of a pipe dream.

7. Heels or flats for a night out? Doc Marten's boots. So I guess that would be flats. I have a lovely pair of Italian heels that are collecting dust in my closet that make me feel like a dominatrix, but in a good way. They are oddly comfortable for such high heels, but then I feel like an impostor when I wear them.

8. What are your comfort foods? Chips and queso and re-fried beans. That might explain number 6 in the previous list.

9. Normal clothes or comfy PJs? I like for my "normal clothes" to fit like comfy PJs, so really, it's the best of both worlds. My PJs kind of resemble workout clothes. So if I should, hypothetically speaking, walk my daughter to school in my PJs, people just think I am super diligent and I am going to work out after I drop her off, rather than being a lazy slob who will go home and eat cookies for breakfast with six cups of coffee. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

10. What is your favorite film? Again with the "favorites". My top 5 are probably... Moulin Rouge, Lost In Translation, Casablanca, The Birdcage, and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.

11. Coke or Pepsi? Neither. I'm not much of a soda drinker, but if you've been around the Periphery a while, you'll know what I mean when I say HOT YELLA KOOLAID!

Here's the part where I run around with my arms flailing like a chicken and try to catch someone without running into a lamppost. So get ready to run:

The M-Half of the M-n-J Show
Faith In Ambiguity
The (not always) Lazy-W
Word Nerd Speaks
Just A Mum?

Even if I didn't tag you, you are welcome to play along if you are so inclined...

On your marks, get set... 
Here are your 11 questions:

1. If there were 5 birds in your yard, which one would you eat? And why?
2. What's the best thing that happened to you when you were 7 years old?
3. If the mob was going to take one of your fingers to recover a debt, which finger would you give them? Why? (Or would you do that thing where you flip the table and grab the giant meat cleaver from Vito?)
4. If you were to throw a drink in someone's face, what drink would it be and why would you do it?
5. Someone gives you a gorgeous mink coat for a gift, would you wear it? Why or why not?
6. You are trapped in an elevator with the following people: Elton John, Kathy Griffin, Jimmy Carter and John Malkovich. What do you do? Would you take pictures with your cell phone?
7. Who did you want to be when you were 13? Are you that person? Why or why not?
8. If you found a finger in your burrito, would you set it aside and keep eating? Why or why not?
9. If your navel dispensed the condiment of your choice, what would it be? Why?
10. Are you a ferret person?
11. You are given an award for something you are very proud of. You get up to make your acceptance speech and they hand you a box of teeth. Does it throw you off? What do you do? Would you proudly display it on your mantel?

GO! Happy tagging, folks!


  1. LOL! Can't wait to seethe answer to these. You sound so very familiar..numbers 2,4,6 especially...

    1. Oh, Larissa. You fart a lot, too? ;)

    2. Ahem. I do believe I should have been more specific and said, 2,4,6...of the second set...

    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    4. Where's the Like button?! :-)

      Larissa, you're it!

  2. I just can't get enough. I just can't get enough. Dang I love Depeche Mode. Are there tagbacks? Hm ... ok, I'll see what I can come up with!

    1. I put that on there just for you, M! I don't know if there are tagbacks. That seems like it would create some sort of blogging vortex wherein we just continually answered absurd questions. Dunno. Might be fun?

    2. Isn't that what I do on my blog anyway? No? Hm.

      Hubs and I took a cruise for our 3rd anniversary. 8 years ago. Haven't done it since, for a looong list of reasons. Let us away together, gals! ;-)

  3. BUFFY FOREVER. I hope to go my whole life without setting foot on a cruise ship. I'm with you. Can't think of anything worse. Did you read Bossypants? Tina Fey agrees with us, as always.

    1. Oh, forever and ever, amen.
      Now I know that you and I can safely vacation together. Whew.
      No, I need to read that. Tina's been after me for a while to read it but I've just gotten so bogged down in Infinite Jest!

  4. I have a hard time not staring at those ear thingies. I always wonder what the lobes must look like without the jewelry and it gives me a mini case of the heebie-jeebies.

    1. They are wobbly and strange without jewelry and you can see daylight through them, making me want to stick my finger through them that much more.

  5. My kids think I'm being hypocritical because I'm totally cool with tattoos but do not like gauging. They are literally making huge holes in their persons! And I agree with Word Nerd, I want to seem the lobes without the jewlery.....just to shudder!

    1. Yeah, I don't really get it either. I'm oddly fascinated by it, but wouldn't do that to myself or my kids.

  6. I love your version of flats. I love your answer to Sleepy Joe's 4th question -- I definitely understand what it is to hate admitting what books I haven't read that I should have at some point thus far. Love that you want to put your smashed pennies up all over the wall of your office. And I love that you sometimes eat random things you find. I read or heard somewhere recently that we put things in our mouth when we don't have words to describe them.

    I am sadly not a ferret person, though I can very much appreciate their cute little masked faces, as well as their intelligence. My older brother had one when we were all younger and it stunk up his room. In retrospect I wonder if he did that on purpose to keep us girls out. Heeey...

    1. Ooooh interesting... we sometimes put things in our mouth because we don't have words to describe them?? Fascinating That's why they say children start to do this, to "interpret" the world via their mouth. Hhhmmm... Cool.

    2. I love that: "we put things in our mouth when we don't have words to describe them." You may be on to something there...

      At some point I may summon the courage to make a list of the books I haven't read, but should have...
      I'm not a ferret person either.

  7. Glittering penny wall... YES! DO it. DO it and let me come visit. Gorgeous and hilarious idea! I love that you become so overwhelmed by beauty that you cry, and that your monkeys are accustomed to that, what a rare and special gift you've given them to see their mother' heart in that way. Brings ME to tears. Truly. xo

    HOT YELLA KOOLAID is one of my favorite Christmas memories, because M Half read it aloud to me while I decorated our tree.
    I see some threads of commonality in your "closet" reads, makes you all the more interesting...

    Love your lists, love your style, can't wait for you to publish a book. That is how you will leave boatloads of mulah to those gorgeous, fortunate monkeys who call you Mom.

    1. You are so sweet, Marie. It's so funny to me that my little demented blog is part of your Christmas memories.

      I did spot the vampire theme after I wrote a bunch of those down. Maybe there are vampires in my closet?

  8. Loved it! Your answer to Sleepy Joe's # 6 (to be clear, having learned a lesson from Larissa, NOT the farting # 6...) is almost identical to mine...interesting.

  9. :-) I love your answers, so much I can't pick out the ones that make me smile the most! I'd just be re-writing your post.

    Only to say I am currently debating my choice of Doc Martins to buy as my new job treat...Hot pink patent, purple leather or flowery???

    Thank you for your lovely comments....ha ha 'sexy' that is a much better complement than a random drunk guy slobbering the same word into my ear on a drunken night out recently. Needless to say I just laughed at him!!

    1. Ooh! I would go with the flowery ones. Definitely.
      Thanks for tagging me. It was great fun!

  10. I finally managed to sit down and do it! ... well, half of it so far. :) This is, undoubtedly, my favourite way to play tag.

  11. I back-burnered this for too long, but it's finally done! :O)


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