Monday, December 31, 2012

The Eve of Something Big

Silly hats and semi-nudity
for New Year's Eve are a must.
This is my favorite of all the winter holidays.
This eve of the new year.
My celebration is quiet now.
It didn't used to be. There used to be horns and dancing and wild expectations and empty arms at midnight. It wasn't my favorite then.
Now it involves silly hats and self-portraits and discounted Christmas food. Quiet reverie and perhaps some knitting, some snuggling and some every-day-ness that all culminates in the simple knowledge that I will wake up in a new calendar tomorrow.

I don't make new year's resolutions. That's a lie. I make them all the time. I resolutely don't make them in the new year, though. I make them when I think of them, regardless of the date because every day that you wake up is the first day of a new year. It's one of the nice things about the cyclical nature of time.

I devise a theme for my new year, though. It's one of the joys that sustains me through the holiday season, this theme devising. It's like a gift to myself that I can open up and use all year. My favorite kind. More on that tomorrow.

Tonight is for reflection. Last year, my theme was "Tree". That makes no sense when I say it like that, so I'll just post a link here for you to see what all that's about. I re-read that post just today and think I've done all right. I think there were some surprises and some setbacks, but that is how things go.

I'm ending this year in a different place than I started it and I think that's the key, right? I would be so depressed by looking back over blankets of sameness. I am contemplating my year ahead and thinking about the summer sausage we'll be having for dinner. I am listening to my monkeys wrestle and make deals with each other about things that are vital only to them. I am warm, I am content. I have lots of room to grow.

It's been a pretty good year. I wish you all so much good in your new years. I am grateful for your presence in this strange netherworld of pixels and light.

This is the eve of something big. I can feel it. I can always feel it. A whole year unfolding fresh and clean ahead and all the possibilities. Savor the anticipation. I received this note from a dear friend of mine a few years ago on new year's eve and it's kind of a tradition for me to review it every year:

I've got a feeling that this is going to be your kind of year. That you'll be happier than you've ever been, laughing harder, smiling wider, standing taller, walking lighter, dancing crazier, hugging longer, living grander, loving louder, and if you want, selling the pictures to a tabloid to raise money for your new charity.
These are the wishes I have for everyone, really. If we all did even a few of these things, how much better this place would be.

For now, my discount summer sausage and smoked cheddar cheese is calling.
Hugs and kisses to you all.
Make this the eve of something big.

20 comments:

  1. I am sending much love and light to your Chief, your monkeys, and you. May 2013 bring you tabloid-worthy moments. And chips & queso.

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    1. Thank you, darling. I'm all over the chips and queso.

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  2. Thanks for the wishes. Perhaps I'll write some of them on my mirror with some kind of makeup or marker so the reminder will be superimposed on other daily changes...my face, the shift in the light through the window, little people running through the bathroom behind me...perhaps.

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    1. I think I will have to do the same. Sometimes I forget.

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  3. I feel it too... (:

    Thank you for the wishes, Tangled Lou. For the comments and for the inspiration.

    Happy New Year.

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    1. I'm so glad you feel it. Happy New Year, darling.

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  4. Yeah, I can feel it. Happy New Year. May it overflow with blessings

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    1. Yay! Welcome, Tamara! Blessings to you as well.

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  5. I totally should gone topless and worn a crazy hat. I see now why I am so "meh" about New Year's. I am doing it wrong! I will have to remember this next year. Blessings upon you and your Chief and your monkeys.

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    1. Really almost anything is made more interesting with toplessness and crazy hats. Blessings to you.

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  6. Ugh - I just wrote this response and it disappeared. I HATE that. Basically, I like your post! I wish I could say that I thought the year would bring something big - but I would be lying. I want to change it up. I want something new and I want to be on the verge of change. But I can't see it. I must continue to wait for something to change. I am impatient. I could change something but I don't know what or how. I suppose what I get to do is wait for change to be revealed.
    In the meantime, I continue to appreciate your voice, your perspective, your strong writing. I always enjoy your posts, even when I feel small in comparison. I appreciate your friendship in the world of hidden tubes that is the internet. Rock on!

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    1. That comment disappearing thing is truly frustrating.
      Thank you for sticking around these parts, Gracie. You always have a unique and honest perspective to offer and I appreciate that so much.
      May your waiting pay off in ways you never expected.

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  7. I love your friend's note. I am totally with you on the resolutions. I grow in cycles, not by force and resolve on one arbitrary calendar day.

    Happy New Year.

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    1. I love that note, too. I think you would love this friend, probably. Everyone does.

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  8. It just sounded amusing, Summer Sausage in the middle of the cold. Well, something to look forward to.

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    1. Summer sausage is almost always amusing.
      Happy New Year, Joe.

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  9. I love that new year's wish. I hope yours is filled with joy.
    (Now, I will try to come up with a name for my charity.)

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    1. Do let me know when you come up with something. I'm a little stumped in this regard.

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  10. I feel it, too. It's already in motion, a quiet rumbling that's bubbling with possibility.

    Happy 2013 to you and yours. May it bring all that you dream of and more than you could have ever imagined.

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    1. Thank you, Word Nerd! I love the quiet rumbling of possibility. So glad to know I share it with such fine company!

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