Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Kreativ Kommunist

It has recently come to my attention that I have an award winning blog and also that I am "It". These are both extremely exciting bits of information.

First, the Kreativ Blogger Award. The award was created in 1849 by Karl Marx and awarded to Friedrich Engels for their blog Das Kommunistische Manifest. While Engels was quite honored by this, he felt it was a little bourgeois to award only one person, so he bestowed it to the other six bloggers in their co-operative: Josef Stalin, Anais Nin, Stephen King, Ayn Rand, Leonard Nimoy and Dr. Seuss. Then there was a bit of a slap fight and Engels went on to become the manager of The Bangles. It is with tremendous gratitude and humility I accept this venerable award from my fellow blogger and writer, Tara at Faith In Ambiguity. Does anyone who reads this blog not read Tara's? You should if you are not already. She will take you on flights of fancy, deep into the soil, through the back doors of your own mind and actions, and into a deeply hilarious or emotional experience. Sometimes all in the same post and you will love her for it.

Because every good commune needs some ground rules (otherwise there would be chickens everywhere!) there are some questions to answer (the following 10 questions) and some statements to make (10 facts about myself) and then we share the wealth (pass it on to some other comrades):

1. What is your favorite song? I can tell you what is not my favorite song. Oh! Susanna! So not my favorite song ever. My favorite song today is Wasted by Lucero. Last week it was Fake Empire by The National. A few weeks ago it was Another One Bites the Dust by Queen. I also have been recently addicted to that song everyone pretends they hate by Gotye (just exactly how do you pronounce that?) When I was four my favorite song was Country Roads by John Denver. When I was thirteen I was completely in love with the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard and my favorite song was Photograph. When I was dating my husband my favorite  song was Birdhouse In Your Soul by They Might Be Giants. When I was a freshman in college it was Circle by Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians. I'm also partial to Bob Dylan's Rainy Day Women 12 & 35. Favorites are wily and ephemeral.

2. What is your favorite dessert? Just desserts. Who doesn't love to see someone get what's coming to them?

3. What ticks you off? Oh you know, the usual. Cliches. Knee-jerk reactions. Jerks. Whistling. Whining, especially when it's an adult. Passive-aggression. Corn nuts. Racists. People who call everyone racists. Unacknowledged hypocrisy. Children. Space invaders.

4. When you are upset, what do you do? Cry. Blame it on other people. Brood a bit. Blame everything in the world on myself. Cry some more. Get over myself.

5. Which is/was your favorite pet? My cat, Chicken. He passed away from old age (barfed himself to death) a few years ago and I have yet to replace him. I had him longer than I had my husband. Now my husband is my favorite pet.

6. Which do you prefer to wear, black or white? Who came up with these questions? I prefer black. I also wear a black cape, mask and ten-gallon hat. But only on Tuesdays. The rest of the time I sew fig leaves together and sport about frightening small children.

7. What is your biggest fear? Mediocrity. Also being vomited on by a hobo on a crowded bus.

8. What is your attitude mostly? Volatile. Not really. Here's the deal: I'm prone to depression and being terribly critical of myself and others, so I make a daily (sometimes hourly) choice to focus on what's positive and to ease up on the whole world. It's a lot of hard work and counter to my nature, so sometimes I snap like the waistband on last year's pantyhose.

9. What is perfection? This is a trick question. Am I supposed to say something about sipping a drink on a beach with a book in my hand here? Perfection means completeness. In that sense, my life is perfect. I am satisfied and it is complete. As in whole. Lacking nothing. There's always something shinier or better or newer to want, but to quote my friend Bram Stoker completely out of context, "That way madness lies."

10. What is your guilty pleasure? I have none. I take no pleasure in anything. That's so not true. Guilt ruins pleasure, so I try not to waste the precious pleasure time I have feeling guilty. If it makes you feel guilty, don't do it. If you enjoy it, don't feel bad about it. Within bounds, obviously. I'm talking about cupcakes and chips and queso here, not murder and theft.

Ten Random Facts About Myself:

1. I have gorgeous toes. No long, gnarly one that looks like a misplaced Cheeto.

2. I don't like for other people's hair to touch me unless I am very close to them personally and emotionally.

3. I totally made up that whole history of the Kreativ Blogger Award.

4. I only have one tattoo, but I have four or five more that are waiting to be done as soon as my tattoo artist friend scrapes together enough cash to fly out here and do them for me. I will pay him in home cooked meals and poetry.

5. I cried yesterday while watching a viral Youtube video.

6. I'm not sure a gut reaction is always the best reaction. Sometimes it is my gut reaction to kiss a stranger on the mouth when they say something especially nice. On the other hand, I rely heavily at times on my intuition. How can I tell when I should and when I shouldn't? With my gut, of course.

7. I don't take blogging very seriously. This is not a judgement on people who do. I don't take physics very seriously, either, but I appreciate the work that physicists do.

8. I went through a whole phase at work when I was an event planner where I signed all of my faxes "Love, Lou". Nobody ever mentioned it.

9. If I have a bad headache, I lie in bed an panic silently that it might be a brain tumor. I mentally put all my affairs in order and try to imagine what my husband's and kids' lives would be like without me. I also stress because I have no one to delete my blog and Facebook accounts.

10. One time I was in a diner in Tampa, Florida and Jerry Garcia was sitting there writing. I was freaking out about it but decided not to talk to him. When I got up to go to the bathroom, I walked past his table and he said "Don't I know you from somewhere? Gainesville?" and I said "Um, no," and went on to the bathroom. When I got back to my table, the old lady who was refilling my coffee cup said "Honey, don't talk to that man. He's a screwball."

Now for the goods. The sharing of the wealth in this great work collective of Blogland. Here are some blogs I stalk regularly and they might not even know I do. I'm OK with that.

GweenBrick - The author of this blog is talented and he works in Special Ed, which is sexy. The blog itself is by turns self-effacing, touching, hilarious beyond the normal bounds, and true. It is always brilliant.

corner blog - Tiffanie is a part-time burlesque dancer, which is pretty sexy. She's a full time mom, a designer, an artist, an architect and just generally amazing. Reading her blog is kind of like flipping through your favorite art magazine.

Scaryduck: Not Scary. Not a Duck. - Is completely insane and funny. Also British, which is sexy.

Vesuvius At Home - She writes, she keeps bees. Sexy. All the way around. Her prose leaves me speechless and nodding and laughing and crying sometimes.

The Trans-Gentle Wife - The strength and candor in this blog are staggering. Lucy writes with such clarity and passion about a life that is so very different than mine, but somehow manages to find a common thread for all of us.

Chuck Prophet's Blog - He is one of my all-time favorite musicians. I have driven three hours, pregnant, in the rain to hear him play. His blog is almost surreal. He's both a talented writer and musician and he adores his wife. Sexy.

Good Youngman Brown - This is a relatively new blog to me, but he writes well and is witty and sarcastic. That's sexy enough for me. He dabbles in fiction, too.

We're going to have to play tag tomorrow. This is super long and I have some knitting to do. Thank you, dear readers for hanging out around the Periphery. Thank you, Tara. For everything.

23 comments:

  1. Loved what you did with the whole "Karl" thing .. Can't pronounce "Gotye" either.. I cried watching that viral video too. (I'm assuming it's the one with something to with a Bruno Mars song. If not then totally ignore me.)
    Congrats on the award. . and British is sexy.

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    1. That is the very one. My husband came home and said "Did you see the wedding proposal video?" and I said "Um, no. What? Do you think I sit around on the internet all day?" and he said, "Well, you should watch it. It's cute." My husband never calls anything "cute", certainly not Youtube videos. I mean, he doesn't even call me "cute" and I'm obviously adorable. So I knew I had to watch it. And then we both just sat there and cried. It was cute.

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  2. Checking out your picks now!

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  3. The more you reveal about yourself, the more I like you. I stress a little about the blog and Facebook thing, too. When I'm gone, I want them gone, too. Pronto.

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    1. Aw thanks, Word Nerd.
      It's an odd thing to think about, but I do sometimes stew around about that. I mean, that would just be weird to have them frozen in time like that.

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  4. Ah, I reaLLy like Physics, and the history of Physics.

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    1. I know you do. I think that's what makes this whole world fascinating. There are people who like physics and people who can't comprehend why people like physics.

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  5. When I'm gone, I naturally assume that someone will posthumously publish all my blog posts and witty emails and I will become a cultural icon. Why delete that? My Twitter account, though? Definitely delete. I don't want anyone to know that all my friends were multi-level marketers. I am so excited that you gave us new blogs to check out!I had too much free time...And congrats on illuminating the hidden history here.

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    1. Those are all my friends on Twitter, too. MLMs and porn stars. My hope is to become a cultural icon while it can buy me coffee and maybe get me into a few shows or something.
      I think my emails would put people to sleep. You would know. ;)
      Everyone always needs more blogs to ignore on their Google Reader.

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  6. HEY! Thank you, TangledLou! You are so, so sweet! And no, I didn't realize you were still stopping by, I'm so glad all of us BlogHer friends are sticking together!

    Oooh, when I read Birdhouse in Your Soul AND Circle I got shivers. I'm up early this morning and it feels like being up after an all nighter in school listening to those songs. Is it possible we are the same age? Those were out my first year of college, too!

    I love your style, this post was really funny. I know you are sexy because you are funny and witty and smart, and I finally got a peek at what you look at in your family photo in a previous post! :) I've always wondered if you were the person in the right or the left of your blogger photo (both cute!). Now I know! Thank you again! xoxo

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    1. Hey! You're welcome. I do still read. I don't always comment because I am a bad blogger. But I know I can always count on your blog when I want to see beautiful and creative things.

      I think we probably are about the same age. Funny how you can tell these things with music. I thought that when you caught a very oblique reference to The Smiths in one of my posts... now there's a woman with good taste in music. Sexy!

      The one on the left is my sister.

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  7. Oh Lou, you are too sweet unto me. Thank you. I'm so glad that Engles didn't have to go his whole life without any recognition for his blog. Ditto Anais, who was waxing about mollusks when we had tea the other day. Your Garcia story might be the best celebrity-spotting story I've ever heard. As for Gotye, I feel like because he became so famous so fast, we're supposed to hate the song. But I don't, either. I don't.

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    1. I always feel like Engels always got shafted because nobody says "Oh, she's a Commie pinko Engelsist." Probably because that doesn't trip off the tongue quite as well as Marxist.

      Why do we resent people who get famous quickly? It's a fun song. It's light and poppy, but somehow cuts right into something I think everyone has felt at some point, however frivolous.

      Oh, the mollusks.

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  8. PS I've wondered which pretty lady you are in the picture as well. I think you're the one on the right with the eyes shut in laughter. Now I've gone and ventured a guess, darnit.

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    1. That would be me. Good guess. On the left is my lovely and talented sister.

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  9. I totally get the blog and facebook thing too- I think you've just inspired me to email my best friend a list of passwords, etc. By the way, I totally do the worrying about the brain tumor, especially as I am prone to bad headaches and see a neurologist for my neurological abnormalities!!

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    1. If I ever had anything more than a sinus headache, I would be a complete basket case. How can you stand it?! I'm very much a wimp about headaches.

      I've been trying to decide who to email the passwords to. It's all such a strange world we've created for ourselves.

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  10. Whenever I think my headache is a tumor, I hear Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop saying, "It's not a tumor," and I can't help chuckle. A little chuckle. Too much laughter makes my head hurt worse!

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    1. That's so funny! I think the same thing! I've never even seen that movie, but that always pops into my head - my poor, tumored head.

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  11. You. Are. Hilarious.

    I don't remember the name (heard it on NPR the other day) but there are a few programs you can sign up for that will take over your FB pages when you die. Though, I'm not sure how they will know that you are not around anymore.

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    1. Ha! Thanks!
      I will definitely have to look into that. Of course there's a program for it! I knew I couldn't be the only one who worried about such things.

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  12. Here's what I need you to do--you know, in between all the other fantastic things you are doing and trying to do, in your spare time, of which we all have such a bountiful amount (how else do we spend so much of it blogging?)--I need you to drop everything and go open a Zazzle store and create some damned T-shirts with Periphery one-liners on them. I will be your first and most loyal customer. I'll even sift through all the old comments I've left about previous T-shirtable lines so you don't have to. You can start the list with: "Sometimes I snap like the waistband on last year's pantyhose." with "So's your face!" a close second.

    Bonus: among the hundreds of customizable products at Zazzle are cheap coffee mugs AND pens, of which I hear you're a collector. Are you still reading? I really hope not--I hope you've gone off to start that Zazzle store.

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    1. Oops, it appears I spoke to soon (that's going to be the first T-shirt in the Masked Mom line as it's such a common occurrence in my life). No pens. But lots and lots of mugs.

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